A Last Chance To Binge

My brain didn’t take the knowledge of the upcoming health-challenge well. In a last desperate attempt of killing me with clogged arteries, I came down with a heavy case of what pregnant women often refer to as “holy fucking shit if I don’t get this food RIGHT NOW I am going to murder everyone”, with my chosen food being chicken (and also ice cream).



Oh, chicken.

I’m pretty sure chicken is the best meat. I don’t have the hard science on this but it’s one of those things that you don’t need science to know. You can make everything with chicken and it’ll be instantly better. Except ice cream. Or maybe chicken ice cream? Japan probably has chicken ice cream. It’s the kind of thing Japan would have.

Oh Japan. You never disappoint.

Japanese candy traditions aside, I have finally entered the first of my (hopefully) many weeks of not having health that sucks on toast. I have collected an impressive array of fancy meat-free recipes,

And now two weeks have passed, and I’m quickly running out of things to put into porridge.



See, unlike my previous assumption, finding recipes for lunch, dinner and gallant 40-course restaurant dishes is no big deal. With my trusted internet at hand there is no food that can’t be found. Anything. Hell, I found a recipe for elephant soup. For those pesky big family reunions, I guess.

But finding quick, everyday “heat up and push into mouth” nourishment was surprisingly difficult.
I am used to a slightly different mindset.



I could, I suppose, start using porridge and cup noodles as a substitute, but that kind of obliterates the purpose of being healthy to begin with.
Luckily for me, though, I actually have people on the Internets who love small woolly creatures enough to support me in my venture of not devouring them.

The first thing I learned was that I would have to put away my suspicions of canned and frozen food. Apparently it’s completely ok to use them and still stay healthy. Indeed, having canned beans, lentils and vegetables means easier preparation, and you won’t have to go shopping every three minutes because lettuce is a dumb peen that rots faster than fuck.



Also there are frozen hash browns. Hash browns are boss.

So I survived! Now I have many a thing to put on porridge. And toast. But also some things I can eat that aren’t porridge and toast.

Join me in my next blog entry where I tackle the next challenge: making proper food.